The Top Ten Ways to Prepare for Your Heliski Vacation

October 04, 2013 Katie Burrell

From least to most important, this is the fool-proof preparation plan to ensure that you get the most out of your ski vacation with Last Frontier Heliskiing. 

Be Like This Guy. Come Prepared. Photo: Blake Jorgenson
Be like this guy. Come prepared. Photo: Blake Jorgenson

10. Book your trip and then duct tape your credit card and put it in the back of your freezer. There is nothing else that is worth buying. Except a GoPro…

9. Learn how to use your GoPro now. Start today. Please, at the very least, know how to tell when it is on.

8. Ladies, challenge yourself while “using the facilities” for the next few months. Think outside the box. You will not regret this when you are waging war on your bib pants in waist-deep snow.

FYI: Girls go to the bathroom together, even on a glacier.

Team Work Makes The Dream Work. Photo: Mike Watling
Team work makes the dream work. Photo: Mike Watling

7. Between now and your trip, do not sustain an injury doing something lame. IE: 

a) Breaking your arm sliding into first base in beer league softball. b) Tearing your ACL/MCL jumping on a trampoline. c) Dislocating your shoulder playing Ultimate Frisbee. d) Cracking your tail bone limbo-ing at a wedding.

6. Get your lefts and rights sorted out. It can be very high consequence to go right when your guide “loosely suggests” staying left. To prepare, blindfold yourself and spin in circles until you have no sense of time or space. Rip off the blindfold and go right at a fast pace until you are comfortable with what this feels like. Repeat this exercise on the left side. Ten reps, three times per week, should ensure that when your guide says which way to go, you will be able to. 

5. Set up as many high-powered fans as you can get your hands on and crank them to full. Practice staying “in position” infront of them: one knee down, one knee up, elbow casually cocked over upper thigh. When the helicopter lands to pick up the group, you will not be the guy that is backwards somersaulting into a snow ditch behind you. Humiliating.

Air Blaster. Stay Calm. Photo: Blake Jorgenson
Air blaster. Stay calm. Photo: Blake Jorgenson

4. Buy a bag of flour and set up an obstacle course in your back yard. Have your wife/husband/kids/neighbour throw flour in your face while you hot lap the course at full speed. This will assist in your ability to remain calm and upright when faceshots render you temporarily blind.

3. Engage in regular breakfast shots (tequila, whiskey, etc.). Develop your ability to do high intensity activity after over-indulging. We recommend channeling your college-life personality and bringing him/her back.

2. Know the answers to the following questions: 

Do we jump out of the helicopter? No.  Is there Wi-Fi? Sort of. Is the bartender single? Grey area. Good luck.  What is “tits deep?” Not “knee deep.”  Does the pilot know how to fly the helicopter? No. Of course not.  Am I going to die? Yes. Eventually, we all die.

It's A Heli-Ski Myth. Nobody Actually Jumps Out Of The Helicopter..or Do They? Photo: Randy Lincks
It’s a heli-ski myth. Nobody actually jumps out of the helicopter..or do they? Photo: Randy Lincks

1. Start scaling back on responsibilities at work now. There is a very good chance that once you get here, you won’t want to leave. 

BONUS TIP: “AY-OH” is universally understood as “DO NOT LEAVE ME BEHIND,” as well as, “sorry, I got excited and skied really far ahead of you.” It can be delivered to indicate friendship, euphoria, confusion, innocence, panic, gratefulness and humility.